


Old haunts

by MadamPuddifoot9



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec lightwood-bane, Alec's death, Character Death, Falling In Love, Freeform, Future Fic, Gay, Gay Love, Head of the New York Institute, Husbands, M/M, Malec, Marriage, Max lightwood-bane - Freeform, Mourning, Rafael lightwood-bane - Freeform, Reunion, Shadowhunters - Freeform, future malec, high warlock of brooklyn, magnus lightwood-bane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2018-12-22 07:54:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11963040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadamPuddifoot9/pseuds/MadamPuddifoot9
Summary: Magnus returns to NYC to visit his sons little does he know that this trip will turn his world upside down...





	1. Chapter 1

Magnus Lightwood-Bane hated New York City. He hated it more than any other city in the world.  
The city held too many memories for him, too many happy memories.  
The streets, the landmarks they all taunted him. He only came back to NY when he absolutely had to.  
He hadn't been back to Brooklyn in almost ten years. Not since his Alexander had gone and died on him. No, he didn't come here anymore. 

That was until now. Until he'd received a fire message from his eldest with the news that he was the new Head of the New York Institute. Magnus had know it would be impossible to ask his boy to portal to him, Rafael wouldn't be able to leave his station just as he'd landed the most important job in his life. So here he was, Magnus Bane was in New York; sitting outside a coffee shop in the late afternoon sun waiting for his sons to arrive. He wore large sunglasses that had nothing to do with the orb in the sky above, he pretended that if he kept them on he wouldn't be able to see the familiar streets and the painful memories would stay at bay.  
Magnus drained his coffee and set the mug back onto of the saucer. He looked to his hands and played with the silver ring on his left index finger. The ornate silver "A" that ordained the band shone in the light. He traced the twisting design of the letter with a smile. 

"Salusos, Papa!"  
Magnus' head snapped up.  
Walking those last few steps to him was his eldest.  
"Raf!" Magnus beamed and he got up from his seat and extended his arms just as his son engulfed him.  
"I missed you." Magnus said, kissing Rafael quickly just above his ear.  
"Papa." Rafael dragged out as though he was embarrassed.  
"Oh stop." Magnus said as they broke apart. "Where's your brother?"  
Rafael pulled out the seat across from his father and sat down, Magnus did the same.  
"He'll be along soon. Something about a client or a girlfriend or a client's girlfriend. I don't keep up."  
Magnus chuckled "I don't either."  
Max was a very popular young warlock. A waitress arrived and they ordered more drinks.  
"So." Magnus said "my son, Head of the New York Institute."  
Rafael blushed a little. "Stop."  
"What?" Magnus said "can't a Father be proud of his son?"  
Rafael shrugged and he reminded Magnus so much of Alexander. His heart ached.  
"I guess." Rafael said "but you know not '1000 balloons appearing in my office' proud."  
Magnus smirked "who said i sent you 1000 golden balloons? That could have been anyone. Maryse for instance."  
"Like Grandma would do balloons" Rafael smiled "and who said anything about them being gold?"  
Magnus held his hands up "okay, guilty, but in my defence I was very excited for you."  
"Well thank you I guess." Rafael smiled. "It's nice... to be in his office you know."  
Magnus looked down at his hands again and swallowed thickly. "He'd be so proud of you, Raf. I can't... I can't even begin to tell you."  
Rafael reached out and gripped his hand. "Thanks Papa."  
They were interrupted then by their drinks arriving.  
"You know I'm the youngest head of institute, tying with Dad of course." Rafael smiled.  
"I know." Magnus beamed "unless we count that one fateful day your uncle Jace was head..."  
"... and no one seems to oddly." came a voice from behind them.  
"Max!"  
"Hey Papa."  
Magnus was hugged from behind by his youngest son. He was glamoured today, his skin white making his short dark curls more vivid.  
"Hey butthead." Max added to his brother as he sat down.  
"Hey dumbass." Rafael replied  
"Ah my children, the loving intellects." Magnus sighed dramatically even though he secretly loved and missed these juvenile interactions.  
"Got you a coffee." Rafael added pushing a cup towards his sibling.  
"Got you this." Max replied as he rummaged in his bag. He threw a small striped paper bag to his brother who immediately opened it with interest.  
"What?" Rafael dragged the word out "Max! I love it."  
Rafael pulled out a red and gold embroidered omamori just like the one Alec had given Magnus.  
"For luck and protection." Max said as he shoulder bumped his father lightly.  
Magnus was feeling overwhelmed again and was glad he still wore his sunglasses.  
"Look" he said after a moment and he pulled out his wallet. Carefully he drew out his own omamori, granted his was a little worn and frayed.  
"You still carry it around?" Rafael asked sounding astonished.  
"Always." Magnus said as he gently held it out for his sons to see.  
Rafael closed his in his hand. "Thank you Max, you don't know how much I'll cherish this."  
Max smiled looking pleased with himself.  
"How long are you here for, Papa?" Max asked after a moment.  
"Not long." Magnus replied as he gently tucked his precious omamori away again. "Just here long enough to celebrate then I'm off to Hawaii with dear Caterina."  
"And celebrate we must!" Max enthused. "Family dinner tonight?"  
"Of course." Magnus nodded. He couldn't wait to see Jace and the others. "And you'll bring Lilly?"  
"Okay. Yes. I will. Actually... I have some news on that topic."  
Magnus choked on his coffee and clutched the table cloth. "Rafael Santiago Lightwood-Bane!" He set his coffee cup down quickly "am I going to be a Grandpa?"  
"Oh my god!" Max shouted  
"What- no! No!" Rafael hissed "she's not pregnant."  
"Oh." Magnus said feeling slightly deflated. "Well good... I mean I am far too young to be a Grandfather."  
Max sniggered into his cup and Magnus kicked him in the shin.  
Rafael pulled out a black velvet box and set it on top of the table.  
Magnus' smiled twisted slightly "you Shadowhunters and getting married so young."  
Rafael fidgeted slightly in his seat.  
"May I?" Magnus asked  
Rafael nodded and Magnus lifted the box and opened it. Inside the cream silk, a ring nestled into the slot. It was beautiful tear dropped diamond, the bottom encrusted with smaller diamonds and a row of tiny little pearls.  
"Its spectacular." Magnus admired.  
"Wow." Max added with a whistle "this new job must come with a big salary."  
"I'm so nervous." Rafael added "I was going to ask her tonight."  
"Was?" Max repeated  
"I don't know. I want to, I'm just afraid she'll say no in front of so many of our family members."  
Magnus smiled kindly "Raf, Lilly loves you and you love her. It's that simple. If I could have one more moment on earth with your Dad I would give anything... it's important you make the most of every moment. Ask her tonight."  
Rafael nodded. He took the ring back. "Okay. Yeah I can do this."  
"Yeah you can." Max enthused.  
"I say we need something stronger than these coffees" Magnus said  
"Yes." Max said standing up and throwing money onto the table. "The hunter's moon?"  
"Definitely." Rafael replied happily.  
Magnus got up and followed his sons. The Hunter's Moon. He took off his sun glasses and put them in his jacket pocket.  
They arrived there in no time and he entered behind his sons who were talking excitedly about something. He wasn't paying attention anymore.  
The place hadn't t changed. It still smelled the same, looked the same, except for the bar staff- they were new.  
"Champagne." Magnus said loudly handing his card to the woman serving "the best you have."  
Max and Rafael whooped in appreciation. Magnus grabbed a flute and took a sip as soon as the bartender had popped the cork.  
"I'm just going to freshen up." He lied "get a table I'll be right back."  
Magnus pushed his way through the half empty bar and exited into the back alley way.  
He was feeling overwhelmed again. He was here. In the Hunter's Moon without Alec. Their son was getting engaged. Without Alec. Their son was turning into every bit of the Shadowhunter Alec had been and he was missing out on it. Max was well on his way to becoming the high warlock according to whispers from the council and Magnus was missing out on these milestones because he couldn't be here without Alec and it was killing him.  
He took a breath and held it for a second before letting it out. He needed to relax and and enjoy these moments with their boys, for both of them.  
With one last look at this old alleyway, one he and Alec had stumbled out into many times, kissing and desperately looking for somewhere to be alone, the alley they'd made up in after their brief time apart in the days before Valentine's death, the same back street alley in which Alec had promised him he would change the law one day so a Shadowhunter could Marry a Downworlder...  
He took one more look and then headed inside to be with their sons and look forward to happier times.


	2. Chapter 2

"To my first born. Rafael Santiago Lightwood-Bane." Magnus charged his glass "To Raf!"  
The long table of of Shadowhunters, wolves and warlocks all raised their glasses. "To Raf!"   
Rafael stood and embraced his father.   
"Thanks Papa." He said sincerely. "I love you."  
"I love you more." Magnus replied.

The table fell into separate chatter and everyone happily ate their desserts.  
"So tell me more about yourself, Silas." Magnus said to the young man sitting next to Max.  
"Uh- there's not much to tell really." Silas replied with a smile "I've been living with Max a few months now. He's a very skilled warlock... not that that's any surprise." Silas motioned back as Magnus.  
Magnus inclined his head at the compliment.   
"Yes, I'm very proud." Magnus added, "our children are both extremely gifted and good looking, thank god."  
"You can say that again." Jace added from beside Magnus. "But what else did we expect with you and Alec for parents." They all laughed.  
"I was very sorry to hear about your husband's passing at such a young age." Silas said looking down at his hands "I know it comes with the territory, Shadowhunter territory, but it still must have been a terrible shock."  
Magnus straighten up in his seat. He hated talking about Alec as much as he loved it.   
"Thank you." He said "it will never get easier."  
Beside him Jace nodded and Magnus lightly placed his hand over his for a moment. If anyone understood the weight and devastation of loosing Alexander it was Jace.  
"He sounded outstanding if the stories Max shares about him are anything to go by, I'm just sorry he isn't here today to witness this."   
"As am I." Magnus replied.  
"He'd love this." Jace said to Magnus "can you imagine him finding out our Raf is the new head?"  
Magnus smiled at Jace "oh I've only thought of one hundred scenarios today already."  
"I'm sure it's your deepest wish to have him here." Silas asked   
"You have no idea." Magnus said sadly.  
"And you'd wish it too as a parabatai." Silas looked at Jace "I hear there is nothing more bonding that a parabatai. I often wish I had one."  
"I wish Alec was here everyday. I wish we could have him back." Jace answered solemnly.  
They were interrupted then by Max who returned with a tray of drinks.   
"Whiskey chasers?" He asked  
No one needed asking twice.   
"To Alec." Jace said  
"To Alexander."  
They clinked glassed. "Dad." Max said gently.   
"To Alexander lightwood-bane." Silas said loudly.  
Everyone at the table grew silent at their toast.  
"Yes, to my brother." Isabelle said from down the room "everyone raise a glass to the other half of the best parent team we've ever seen. I know we all wish Alec were here tonight."  
"At Alec!" Luke said fist.  
"To Alec." They all joined in.  
Magnus wiped his eye quickly and looked back to his son who was sitting across from him.  
"So what's it like living with Max?" Magnus said "does he ever pick up his own socks?"  
"Papa!" Max laughed "I'm not twelve anymore."  
"Wait- where did he go?" Jace asked  
Magnus looked around, Silas was nowhere to be seen.  
"He was just here." Magnus frowned.  
"Weird." Max shrugged "he must be at the bathroom."

Just then a huge squeal went up and everyone fell silent.  
Everyone turned to where the noise came from it was Clary and Isabelle...  
"What the-" Jace said looking startled   
Magnus laughed when he saw the commotion, Rafael was down on one knee. Lilly had her hands thrown around her mouth in shock.  
"No... no! He's actually done it!" Max yelled.  
"Yes!!" Lilly shouted "yes! I'll marry you!"   
The whole room erupted into cheers as Rafael swept Lilly off her feet.  
"Champagne!" Magnus yelled and everyone cheered again.  
They all fell silent once more when Jace fell forward onto the table.  
"Jace?" Clary shouted in panic  
Magnus placed a hand on Jace's back.  
"Jace, what's wrong... tell me where the pain is..." Magnus said urgently, blue sparks fell from his fingertips.  
"No. No, no...." Jace sobbed   
"Dad what's wrong with him?" Rafael said as he hurried over.  
"Jace help me out here... how can I help you?" Magnus said shaking Jace lightly.  
"Magnus." Jace said standing up straight. A single tear fell from his eye. "Magnus..."  
With a shaking hand Jace lifted his shirt.  
"No." Magnus gasped. His glass fell from his hand and smashed on the floor.   
Shining bold and black on Jace's skin was his Parabatai rune.  
"I can feel him, Magnus." Jace sobbed trying to reach for Magnus who was backing away.  
"No." Magnus said. "It can't be."  
"I can feel him. He's alive." Jace cried holding onto his rune.   
There was no sound but the heavy breathing from Jace. Everyone was still.  
"Alec is alive." Jace said loudly.  
"How?" Clary said urgently "Jace... he's..."  
"The boy." Magnus said urgently "Silas!"  
"What about him?" Max asked urgently   
"He's a Djinn." Magnus roared looking anxious.   
"No." Isabelle said "can this be true?"  
"He asked us for a wish." Jace breathed out "he asked for a wish."  
"Alec's alive." Luke said loudly.  
"Alexander's alive." Magnus echoed and the whole room went into uproar.


	3. Chapter 3

"How could you not know he was a Djinn?" Rafael hissed at Max.  
Max shook his head "I'm sorry, alright! I didn't know. I swear."  
Magnus was barely listening he was panicking. He didn't dare believe that Alec was alive and well.   
Jace and the others where talking quickly and formatting plans and yet Magnus couldn't seem to move from the spot.  
"I'll get an APB put out." Luke said "we'll get all cops looking."  
"He could be confused." Jace added "we don't know how he is. He might not be the same."  
Magnus blinked, Jace was right. Dead things should stay dead, there was a reason no one brought loved ones back from beyond.  
"What about a locator spell?" clary added.   
"Magnus?" Jace said. "We don't have anything of Alec's with us right now so we can't track him. Can you do a spell?"  
"Magnus?"  
"Papa!" Magnus sprang to life suddenly "what?" He asked as though he'd been asleep.  
"We can't track him can you do a locator spell?" Jace repeated.  
"He'll be at the institute." Magnus said. "The last place he was alive."  
"I'm on it." Rafael said and he started dialling on his cell.

"Papa." Max said gently "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for any of this to happen"  
"I know." Magnus said gently. He couldn't blame his son, but he didn't feel any better.  
"He's there!" Rafael shouted. "He's there!"   
Everyone rounded on him, Magnus' heart was hammering.  
"Are you sure it's him?" Magnus asked breathlessly   
"They've detained him." Rafael said "we need to go."   
Magnus opened a portal with shaking hands and everyone stepped through.

 

"I should go first." Lilly said gently. "I am a healer after all. Let me check him out, make sure he's alright."  
"I want to see my brother." Jace said impatiently.  
"We can't all go running in there!" Isabelle shouted "we'll scare him to death."   
"Lilly's right." Rafael said "let her go and check Dad out first. We need to ensure he's okay."  
Everyone looked at Magnus who nodded.  
Jace walked quickly to the Shadowhunter on duty.   
"Tell me everything."   
The young Shadowhunter looked flustered. "He just appeared from nowhere, he was just there in the middle of the comms room, naked. asleep on the floor."  
"And then what?" Jace pressed eagerly.  
"Then he woke up and freaked out!" The Shadowhunter replied "I yelled for help and it took three of us to get him into a holding cell.  
He's very confused."

"Oh my god. Alec." Isabelle sobbed and Clary rushed and embraced her.  
Jace was pacing. "I need to see him."  
Max was quiet and Rafael looked lost.   
In no time Lilly returned.   
"Well?" Magnus asked barely daring to ask.  
"It's Alec." She confirmed "I checked his medical and dental records- it's really him."  
Magnus let out a quiet sob. "Is he okay?"  
Lilly shook her head "he's afraid." Her voice wobbled a little "I'm so sorry Magnus but he doesn't remember you.... or the boys."  
"Dad?" Rafael said sounding close to tears   
Magnus had no answers to give, his heart was crushed once more.   
"He's alive." Magnus said loudly. "That's all that matters... the rest we can figure out."  
"I want to see him" Jace repeated for the hundredth time.   
"Go." Magnus said looking Jace in the eye. "He needs you. His parabatai."  
Jace came closer to him "Magnus."   
"Don't." Magnus said quietly "he doesn't remember us, it's that simple. But he remembers you. He remembers his family, go to him, comfort him."  
Jace nodded. "I'm scared" he admitted quietly so only Magnus could hear "what if he's not our Alec?"   
Magnus shook his head. "Go to him, Jace. He needs you. Don't tell him about Robert yet. Stall him, and we're still waiting to hear from Maryse"

Jace walked towards the holding cells and Magnus followed. He made the others stay behind. He would just look from afar. It would be enough for now. 

He watched Jace approach the glass before he would allow his eyes to fall onto Alexander, but when he did he fell to his knees. Jace quickly rounded the corner and rushed into the cell. Alec was still naked, save for a blanket they'd given him. He watched the two brothers fall into another's arms. They were both crying as much as Magnus was. Both seemed unwilling to let go of the other.  
"Get him some clothes!" Magnus shouted through his tears, knowing he was in no fit state to use magic right now. One of the guards nodded and rushed off.

Magnus remained on his knees, slightly hidden from view and watched the brothers through the glass. Alec looked the same as he did when they first met. He was missing a few runes, one in particular that broke Magnus' heart.  
He couldn't hold it against Alec. He didn't know what Alec must be feeling right now. He could barely imagine. But right now all Magnus could cling onto was the fact- that right here- in front of his eyes- Alexander Lightwood was alive.


	4. Chapter 4

Magnus, Rafael and Max entered the loft in Brooklyn, it had been years since anyone had lived here.  
Magnus flicked his wrist and the drapes opened; the early morning sun illuminated the dust particles floating around.   
"I can't believe it still looks the same" Rafael said   
"What else would it look like?" Max replied.  
"You know what I mean." Rafael shrugged. "So many memories."   
Magnus hummed in agreement.  
"Time to redecorate." He said lifting his hands and knowing exactly what past decor he was bringing back.  
"There." He said simply once the room stopped shaking.   
"How it looked when we were young?" Max asked sitting down in the blue armchair that had appeared.   
Magnus walked off towards his bedroom, their bedroom, with purpose.  
"I guess he wants Dad to remember." Rafael said before Magnus quite made it out of ear shot. The boy was right. Magnus was desperate for Alec to remember his family.   
They'd left the institute an hour ago, Alec spent the night in the company of his family. Magnus knew it wasn't right for him or the boys to see him right away but it still hurt like hell. All he wanted to do was run to his husband and hold him, kiss him and never let go.   
Instead he would wait.   
He entered their old bedroom and went straight to the ornate wardrobe that had belonged to Alec. He opened it and took out one of the most precious items, Alec's leather jacket.   
He'd spelled it after Alec's death to retain his scent, the same with Alec's pillow which Magnus always travelled with.   
Magnus held the jacket at arms length for a moment and admired it. Then he pulled it to his body and hugged it, inhaling deeply. Here alone in their bedroom he let the tears flow again but these were happy tears, tears of disbelief. Hopefully in a day, maybe two he would be able to give this jacket back to Alexander and smell that beautiful scent for real.   
When he calmed and gathered himself he hung Alec's jacket on the door and returned to the living area.

Max had summoned food and drinks and the boys were deep in conversation at the kitchen table.   
"I can move home, right Papa?" Max asked eagerly.  
"Of course, darling." Magnus said as he poured himself a glass of vodka from bar tray.  
"Would it help if I did too?" Rafael asked looking to his father.  
"You can always come home." Magnus said gently "but you need to do what's right for you right now and I think for you that means staying at the institute, Raf."  
Rafael nodded.   
"I just want to see, Dad." Max said putting his head in his hands.  
Magnus walked to his son and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.   
"I know Blueberry." Magnus said gently "but what's best for Dad right now is to be with his family."  
"We're his family." Rafael said dejectedly.  
"Yes, well, the family he remembers. Think how scary and unnerving this must be for him."  
"I know." Rafael said "I'm sorry."  
"Don't be." Magnus said "it's taking all my willpower to stop myself blasting the doors off the Institute and dragging him home."  
"You're not blasting my Institute, bitch." Rafael said with sass, and the other two laughed for the first time since Alec's return.

The energy in the room lightened and Magnus got up and grabbed sever spell books from his library and dropped them heavily on the table.  
"Now who wants to read up on memory spells and potions?"


	5. Chapter 5

Magnus had changed his outfit seven times.   
He'd spent a stupid amount of time styling his hair and for the first time in a decade he lined his eyes in glitter.   
"You look great." Max assured him  
"You said that about the last seven choices." Magnus replied   
"Yes, Papa, because they were all fine." Max rolled his eyes.  
"I'm not looking for 'fine', I'm looking for unforgettable! Have I taught you nothing."   
"Aww Papa, now I miss Chairman!" Max said as he held up a red velvet collar with a small gold bell.  
Magnus hummed in joint sympathy at the memory of their first beloved pet.   
"Stop rummaging through our old belongings and help your Father look stunning enough so that your recently revived Father will instantly re-fall in love with him!" Magnus added a moment later.  
"Fine." Max said setting aside the box of memories he'd found.   
Magnus smoothed down his waistcoat and straightened the tassel he'd added.   
"You look amazing, Papa. I promise." Max said, raising his blue hands in an honest gesture.   
Then he hesitated "maybe...?" He send a blue flash of Magic at Magnus who immediately turned to find a mirror.  
His son had added a streak of blue to his hair. Magnus changed it to magenta in a flash.   
"Good idea." Magnus added remembering his hair colour the first time Alec had kissed him.

By 10am Magnus had portalled into the institute. He was confused for a second at the hundreds of spiral ribbons that fell down around his shoulders, but then he looked up to see the golden balloons he'd sent Raf.   
"That was your doing, remember?" Magnus followed his son's voice and battled through the ribbons until he found his son at Alexander's old desk.   
"Maybe I sent a few too many." Magnus admitted with a look around.  
"You think?" Rafael replied. "You look good Papa, you look more like yourself."  
Magnus frowned "what do you mean I always look like myself?"   
"No, not really." Rafael countered sadly and Magnus' chest felt heavy.  
"How is he this morning?" Magnus asked   
Rafael set down his pen. "Uncle Jace said he's a lot better. I wish I could see him, I'm so close to him..."  
"I know, darling." Magnus said "I know the feeling. You'll see him soon. Real soon."   
Rafael nodded and Magnus sighed. "Okay. Here I go."   
"Come back and see me as soon as you're done."   
"I promise." Magnus said and he left Rafael's new office and went to find a Lightwood or Herondale.

 

He found Izzy first and his godson and Nephew, Jace and Clary's son, Alex.   
"Uncle Magnus." Alex said happily and Magnus embraced the boy.   
"My Alex!" Magnus said "look at you, you've grown a foot since your birthday."  
"I'm so happy about uncle Alec. I can't wait to meet him." Alex said eagerly.  
Magnus smiled and cupped his face briefly. He'd never met his namesake, he was born in the days after Alec's death.   
"Not as happy as me." Magnus said gently. He looked to Isabelle then.  
"They're in Alec's old room." She said kindly. 

Together he and Izzy walked across the institute.  
"We've told him everything, about you, the boys, Max, Dad. His Nieces and Nephews. It's a lot for him to take in."  
Magnus nodded. "And how did he react about me?" He was anxious and feeling selfish but it was the only thing he needed to know right now.  
"He was shocked." Izzy laughed. "He is happy we all know he's gay again."   
They both shared a chuckle.  
"And the boys?"  
"He said he can't imagine himself as a father." She smiled.  
"Let's place a small blue baby in his arms and ask him that again."  
"I know." Izzy smiled.

They were outside now and Izzy knocked the door.  
"Magnus is here." She called before she walked away. "Good luck." She whispered.   
Jace opened the door and came out shutting the door behind him. He looked younger than he did a few days ago. His whole body seemed taller, brighter.  
"What's wrong." Magnus muttered anxiously "doesn't he want to see me?"  
"What? No." Have replied quickly "I just thought I'd let you go in alone. I'll be in the training room if you need me." He gripped Magnus'  
shoulder "we've got him back, Magnus."   
Magnus nodded unable to speak. He let Jace walk away before he could gather the strength to knock and open the door.

Standing in front of the old fireplace, hands clasped behind his back was Alexander. Tall as ever, beautiful as ever and very much alive and breathing.

"Alexander." Magnus gasped. Everything he'd practiced, everything he promised himself he wouldn't do fell out the window. He crossed the room in two steps and enveloped the man he loved.  
He felt Alec stiffen at his contact but then slowly his arms lightly embraced back and Magnus was crying. Deep sobs that rattled his chest and hurt his lungs.

"Hey." Alec said startled "hey, don't cry. What's all this?"  
Magnus stayed with his head buried in Alec's neck. He inhaled deeply through his gasping breaths. Alec. His Alec.  
After a moment he composed himself and reluctantly peeled himself off Alec. He took a step back and finally let go.

"I'm so sorry, Alexander." Magnus hiccuped "that wasn't fair on you."

Alec nervously moved from foot to foot. "Well I guess seeing your- your- husband... back from the dead is enough to forgive you." 

Magnus wiped his eyes and seeing the black stains on his fingers he clicked them and in a flourish his makeup was returned to its glorious state. 

"Wow." Alec said, sounding impressed. 

Magnus laughed and calmed himself a little. "Shall we sit?"

"Sure." 

They both sat down on the edge of the bed. 

"This is... so weird."  
Alec said honestly.

Magnus smiled "you're telling me."

"I'm sorry I know this is really hard for you too, Magnus. Jace and Izzy have filled me in the best they could... about us."

"Right." Magnus said "I'm sure it was easy enough to comprehend. "You know the Bisexual, extravagant, cocky warlock of a husband and the two children?"

Alec laughed and Magnus' heart was ready to explode. God, Alec was beautiful. His laughter rang through Magnus' ears and soul. 

"It seems too good to be true, you know. I never thought I could have want I wanted...plus kids."

"Believe it, Alexander. It happened. Thank the angel it happened." Magnus gushed.

Alec blushed at little and looked down. "Who knew in the future a Shadowhunter could marry a Downworlders?"

"All down to you, darling." Magnus said with affection. He didn't dare look at Alec again, afraid he might engulf him at any moment.

"And we have sons." Alec noted. "Rafael something and Max."

"Rafael Santiago after a dear friend and Max after... well...."

Alec sighed. "I can't believe Max is gone and my father."

Magnus dared to look at Alec and put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. 

"I know." Magnus said sadly. "I loved them, yes, even Robert in his way. He was an excellent Grandfather."

"I'm glad." Alec replied and Magnus gently removed his hand again. "It makes me happy that he was... more family orientated over the years."

"He used to time Maryse on how long she got to cuddle Blueberry." Magnus laughed "it was amusing to say the least. He loved being a grandpa."

Alec looked confused "blueberry?"

"Oh, that was your nickname for our son." Magnus added kindly.

"The blue one." Alec nodded seriously, trying to take in all this information. "The warlock."

"Yes." Magnus encouraged "Raf is the Shadowhunter, like you." 

"Rafael Santiago." Alec repeated more to himself.

"You've got it." Magnus replied happily. 

"I've missed their whole childhood." Alec said sadly. 

"Yes and no." Magnus reminded gently. "Right now, for you that's a yes, but for our sons you raised them everyday of their little lives. They adore you."

Alec looked glassy eyed "really?"

"I promise you this." Magnus said his own eyes filling up with unshed tears "you are our world."

"Thank you." Alec replied as a single tear escaped.

 

An hour passed in the blink of an eye and then another and another.  
They had so much to talk about but it would take time and they had the time again.  
Magnus had to remind himself of that, it was too easy to be greedy and overwhelm Alec. They had time again. Little by little they could fix this.

"I should let you rest." Magnus said a long while later. They'd only just properly covered the first few times they'd met and that had taken a while.

"Okay." Alec said and he stood up.   
Magnus mirrored him. He wanted to stay, he wanted to crawl into bed with his Shadowhunter and hold him while he slept but he knew that was impossible.

"I'll come back anytime. Day or night. Send me a fire message or a text message. I'll always he here. I'll come by again later... or tomorrow.... if you'd like?"

"I'd like that." Alec said shyly.

Magnus beamed. "Okay. I should go then." He made no attempt to leave and before he knew it, in what seemed like slow motion his body was moving off its own accord. His lips pressed gently to Alec's soft plump lips.

"I'm, I'm sorry." Magnus replied as he pulled away. "I shouldn't have... it's just I literally couldn't stop myself... I know it's not fair to you, but to me... I need you so much. I want to kiss you and never stop, I want-"

Alec cut him off by pressing a finger to his lips and Magnus sighed.   
But then in slow motion again Alec moved in and kissed him. As kisses go it barely even qualified as their lips hardly grazed but to Magnus it almost made his heart stop beating. 

"It's... it's... okay. I.... liked it." Alec stammered. "I liked it a lot." He sounded astounded at his own words and Magnus was ready to jump up and down but refrained himself. 

"Maybe come back again tomorrow?" Alec blushed.

"It's a date." Magnus smiled.

And so he left then and bounced his way back to Rafael's office to assure their kids that things were looking up.


	6. Chapter 6

Alec had been home for exactly two weeks and Magnus couldn't remember the last time he felt so happy. Things between them were good. Really good. Alec was starting to flirt a little during their time together and Magnus was on cloud nine.  
Everything would be perfect except for one gigantic problem. Alec wasn't ready to meet his children.  
Magnus knew it must be a huge step to take but unfortunately it wasn't one Alec was willing to take.  
Obviously this had been a sore spot for the boys as well as Magnus but there was really nothing they could do. Rafael had decided to take leave from the institute and had gone to Idris with his new fiancé. Max was laying low in Brooklyn and Magnus was spending every bit of time he had with Alec.  
Today would be their second official 'first date' seeing as Alec couldn't remember the actual first and Magnus had everything planned out.

He met Alec in the institute, Alec wearing his usual style of... black. But seeing him standing waiting for him made Magnus' heart leap.  
Magnus himself managed to conjure himself the exact shirt he wore on their first date.  
"Hey." Alec said looking a little nervous as Magnus walked in. "You look..."  
"I look great. I know." Magnus teased and Alec laughed then visibly relaxed. "You look dashing." Magnus added looking his... husband? Boyfriend? ... date?...Up and down longingly.  
"Ugh, thanks." Alec said running his hand up and down his other arm nervously. "So where are we going?"  
"I thought we might go to the Hunter's Moon." Magnus said and they both began to walk down the steps leading out of the institute.  
"Can't say I've been there before." Alec commented and Magnus cleared his throat awkwardly. "Jace seems to like the place."  
"Oh it has its charms, Alexander." Magnus replied wishing he knew how many memories they shared there.  
"Oh, Max sends his regards." He added after a beat. He waited tensely for Alec's reply.  
"Oh." He said slowly and Magnus braved a look at his face. He looked deep in thought. "That's... nice of him."  
They walked through the crowded park on their way.  
"Yes. He's keen for updates, understandably." Magnus added hopefully.  
"And Rafael?" Alec asked.  
"Still in Idris with Lilly and Maryse."  
"I'm surprised Mother left." Alec joked "I don't think she left my side much in the first week."  
"I can't say I blame her." Magnus replied and he bumped shoulders with Alec gently. They exchanged a little smile.  
"Alexander, I'm sorry to bring this up again but..."  
"I don't know what to say to them." Alec answered guessing what Magnus was getting at.  
"They don't know what to say to you." Magnus assured him. "It's awkward for everyone. They're both desperate to see you, I really don't think it's fair... I really don't think I can hold them off much longer."  
Alec was silent for a moment "okay." He said "when Rafael gets back... I'll meet them."  
Magnus sighed happily. A weight lifted from his chest.  
"Thank you, darling. This means the world to them."

They continued on until they arrived at their destination.  
"I'll get the drinks." Magnus said quickly and he ordered himself a martini and a pint of beer for Alec.  
"How about a game of Billards?" Magnus suggested sneakily.  
Alec's face lit up. "Yeah I like pool. I can kick Jace's ass so it's my favourite game."  
They set up the table and played a few games. The conversations were light and flirty and Magnus tried to remember everything they talked about on their official first date.  
He was suddenly struck with an idea.  
"17." He said hopefully.  
"Excuse me?" Alec said looking confused.  
"Seventeen thousand?" Magnus smiled.  
"I have no idea what you're talking about right now- is your vodka off?" Alec laughed.  
"Never mind." Magnus smiled "I was just trying something. It doesn't matter."

Magnus chose a song on the juke box while Alec took his shot.  
"I have your leather jacket." Magnus said "at home..."  
Alec straightened up after his shot "my jacket?"  
Magnus looked for his next shot, he leaned on his cue. "Yes, your black leather one. I can bring it to you... or maybe you want to come and get it... later?"  
"Uh - sure. Yeah that sounds..."  
Magnus looked up and then froze.  
Max was at the bar with Lilly and Rafael. A shot of panic leapt through him.  
"Magnus? You okay?" Alec asked looking concerned. He looked where Magnus was looking and then back to him.  
"We should go." Magnus said "quickly."  
"What?" Alec said looking a little hurt "you want to leave? Are you not having a good time?"  
Magnus pulled Alec around the corner out of sight.  
"What's going on?" Alec asked  
"Alexander, I'm having the best time I promise." He wiped his brow a little "it's just... our children have just walked in."  
Alec paled. "Oh."  
"I promise I didn't plan this."  
Magnus added quickly "Rafael wasn't supposed to be home yet and Max... we should go."  
Alec looked hesitant. "Maybe..."  
"Yes?" Magnus asked hopefully  
"Maybe it's time I met them. Liquid courage and all that."  
Magnus could jump for joy but refrained.  
"Yes. This is perfect. Should I bring them over or should we just go to them or...." Magnus was rambling "I don't want to shock them... maybe I should-"

"Dad!" 

Magnus whirled around to find Max standing in front of them. He looked shell shocked. 

Before Magnus could intervene Max was in Alec's arms. Alec looked as shell shocked as Max just had, luckily he returned the embrace.  
"Sorry." Magnus mouth to him.

"Daddy." Max mumbled into Alec's chest and he sounded like a boy again. 

"By the Angel." Lilly said as she joined them followed by Rafael who was carrying the drinks. 

"Raf." Magnus said gently and Max finally let go of Alec to look at his brother. 

"Raf." Lilly encouraged gently. She took the drinks from his shaking hands and pushed him forward a little. "Go."

"Hi." Alec said nervously and Rafael stumbled forward and threw himself into Alec.

"I love you, Dad." He said thickly. "I've missed you so much. Everyday."

Alec rubbed his back a little.  
"I... I love you, too."

"No." Rafael said finally taking a step back and wiping his eye "it's okay, you don't have to say that, we understand..."

Alec shook his head "No. No I mean it." He said weakly. He looked to Magnus "I feel it." He touched his chest.

Magnus nodded, his own eyes dangerously close to spilling over.

"I should go." Lilly said gently as she interrupted the moment.

"No." Alec said "sorry, I'm being rude...I'm Alec." 

Lilly gratefully took his extended hand and shook it. "I'm Raf's fiancé. Your... daughter in law to be, I guess." She smiled "but honestly I'm intruding on this family moment..."

"You are family." Magnus said kindly. 

"Thank you, Magnus, I know, but this is a huge moment for you four. I want to let you all savour it."

Magnus nodded. He liked this girl. She was perfect for Raf.  
Rafael kissed her goodbye and then the four of them were alone.

"Hey... I thought you were blue?" Alec asked as he looked at Max.

Magnus and Rafael laughed out loud.

"Oh, I'm glamoured." He said before he let it drop.

"Oh wow." Alec said as he touched one of Max's horns. "Cool."  
"He likes to think he is." Rafael teased, "but we know better."

The boys began teasing each other and Alec laughed with them. Magnus could explode with happiness. 

The night was a success. They ate and drank together and the boys shared their favourite stories with Alec who drank them up. He wanted to know everything about Max and his clients as well a every detail about Rafael's work at the institute.  
At closing time Magnus told the boys that he was taking Alec to the loft to give him his jacket. They both said they had business at the institute and would portal out, not before they made plans with Alec though and Magnus loved that they took the hint to leave them alone. 

"Shall we?" Magnus said as he opened a portal outside in the alleyway.

Magnus opened the door and let them into the loft. The place that had been their home together. It all felt very surreal.

"I can't believe they are our kids."  
Alec said for the fifth time since they'd left the boys. "They are so incredible, successful, loving..."  
Magnus blushed a little "yeah, we make a good team."  
"We must." Alec agreed "and they love each other too. You can tell how close they are."

Magnus agreed as he walked to fetch Alec's beloved jacket.  
When he returned he handed it over with a smile. Every last one of his wildest wishes had come true.

Alec slid his jacket on and Magnus' heart thumped. God he was sexy.  
The atmosphere seemed to thicken slightly between them.

"You know tonight was a copy of our first date... minus the children of course." He admitted. 

Alec inclined his head "oh really."

"It's shameless but I was hoping to jog your memory." He admitted 

"Sorry." Alec said 

"It was worth a try" Magnus shrugged "and I really enjoyed a trip down memory lane."

They stood close. Too close. Alec licked his bottom lip.

"This is almost like how our first date ended." He added unable to look away from Alec's lips.  
Alec hummed in acknowledgment, he was also looking at Magnus' mouth.  
"You said to me that Relationships take effort and-"

Alec kissed him then and Magnus moaned. He didn't care, he couldn't care because Alec was kissing him. Slow and long. Gently. Perfectly.


	7. Chapter 7

Magnus awoke in his old bed in the loft; he was so content. He'd spent the night with Alec in their marital bed. They hadn't had sex yet, not had their second 'first time', but they'd done plenty more and Magnus hadn't felt this satisfaction in a decade. 

He stretched widely and rolled onto his back to find himself alone. He extended his arm onto the empty side of the bed as though Alexander would suddenly appear in a puff of smoke and he would be able to touch him.  
Dread filled Magnus' body for a moment, was this all a nightmare? Had he dreamt the whole thing up and Alec was still gone? He sat up slowly and put his head in his hands, this was all too much.  
It was another moment before he could think rationally. No, of course it wasn't a nightmare. He was back in Brooklyn, in their old home. In their old bed, that wasn't a dream.

He felt hurt that he'd woken up alone, he felt hurt that Alec had snuck out on him and probably returned to the institute.  
Magnus couldn't help his feelings and he also couldn't blame Alec either, for him he'd only known Magnus a little over two weeks and now had two grown up sons, Magnus couldn't really blame him for running out without a goodbye. But still, it stung.

He had the tail end of a hangover too so Magnus conjured himself a black coffee from his favourite coffee house and took a long drink.  
He had just settled himself back into the pillows when his bedroom door slid open.

"Oh." Alec was standing in the doorway with 2 steaming cups in his hands. "I guess you don't need this." He said cocking his head to the side "right, you can magic things, I guess I forgot."

Magnus sat up in surprise "Alexander!" He set his cup on the bedside table. "I thought you left."

Alec kicked off his shoes and then set the cups down too. He threw himself down on top of the duvet with a little smile "where you really afraid I was gonna go?"  
Magnus' heart thundered and he couldn't help but remember their first morning together many years ago, he laughed a little. "No." He lied and now Alec laughed.

"Give me one of those." Magnus said nodding to the coffees Alec had gotten.  
Alec crossed his arms over his chest. "What? These are both for me."  
"Oh really?" Magnus said rolling into his side, his eyes sparkled with electricity.  
"Yep." Alec said before he reached for the closest and inhaled the aroma.  
"I thought you said one was for me?" Magnus teased.  
Alec considered this "no, must be your old man hearing playing up." he teased.  
Magnus choked. "Old? Old!" He said loudly pretending to be affronted "I'm in the prime of my youth, Alexander."  
Alec set his cup down again after a sip and then rolled onto his side mirroring Magnus. His head resting on his hand.  
Magnus shivered in pure affection. God he'd missed this man. How he'd carried on day after day without his beautiful husband... he simply couldn't remember.  
"Aren't you like five hundred years old?" Alec teased, raising his scarred eyebrow.  
"How dare you, I'm barely a day over 450!" Magnus replied.  
"Riiiight." Alec said drawing out the word just after he'd licked his bottom lip and Magnus loved this banter but now he'd stared at Alec's lips he couldn't think of a witty reply. He couldn't think how to speak.  
The air seemed to change between them, it thickened and heated quickly and Magnus automatically moved toward Alec who thankfully returned his kiss.  
Alec tasted like bitter black coffee and Magnus wanted to drink him up.  
"We should... we could..." Magnus hesitated.  
"...yes?" Alec said with heavy lidded eyes.  
"I'm going to take a hot shower and maybe, if you wanted to... you don't have to..." Magnus stumbled nervously.  
"Magnus." Alec said loudly and he looked amused.  
"Join me?" Magnus asked gently. He waited only a millisecond before Alec nodded "lead the way."

 

Alec pushed him back against the cold tiles and Magnus shivered for a different reason. The steam from the shower billowed around them as they kissed passionately. The water hit Alec but mostly missed him and Magnus couldn't believe how perfect his life felt right now as the love of his entire existence sucked onto his bottom lip.  
His hands gripped Magnus' hips and Magnus flipped them around quickly. Alec's wet hair dripped down the tiles as he threw his head back, panting heavily as Magnus slipped down to his knees.  
Alec threaded his fingers into Magnus' hair and Magnus desperately... eagerly... took Alec to paradise and back.

 

It was nearly midday when they both fell out of the bedroom and headed to the kitchen. Alec wearing his boxers and rumpled tee shirt, Magnus in a silken robe, both their hair's wet and mussed.  
They both stopped giggling abruptly when they came face to face with their children.  
"Boys." Magnus said shocked as their two sons stood side by side with shit-eating grins on their faces. "I.. we- didn't know you were here."  
"Clearly." Max said raising his eyebrow and Rafael sniggered but elbowed him in the ribs to stop.  
"We-uh- brought brunch." Rafael explained. "We didn't expect to see Dad here."  
"Then why is there four cups?" Magnus quirked dryly looking at the kitchen table.  
"We kinda hoped. That. Whatever. This is gross." Max said before he went and opened the first container of hot pancakes.  
"Let's never speak of this again." Magnus said lightly.  
"Agreed!" Rafael and Alec echoed at the same time.  
"Let's eat." Magnus said.

Alec sat down and grabbed some pancakes and began pouring maple syrup over them. He cut a slice and then stopped, looking up.  
"Guy... you gotta stop this." He motioned around the table with his fork. "It's creepy." He was more amused than annoyed.  
Magnus realised that it wasn't only him who was watching Alec's every move with desperate attention.  
The boys both jumped back into lifting their own food and Magnus knew they were just as scared as he was that Alec might disappear at any given moment.  
There was no way Alec would be leaving them again. Magnus would make sure if it.


	8. Chapter 8

It was Friday night and Magnus was curled up on the sofa in the loft. Alec was leaning on his right shoulder, close, so close. In Alec's hands was the first photo Album they were going over together, their precious memories that Alec had forgotten against his will.   
"Who's that?" Alec asked pointing to a photo of the early days.  
Magnus observed the photo. It was a picture of Clary, Magnus, Jace and Alec. In the background was Simon and Raphael.   
"That's our dearly departed friend. Raphael Santiago, I miss him. He was quite something. You hated him at first..." Magnus mused.  
"Raphael Santiago?" Alec said raising his eyebrow. "Like...."

Down the hall a door opened and Max and Raf came out along with Lilly. They were dressed up, a well deserved night off it seemed.  
Lilly wore a short silver glittering dress, the kind Isabelle would pull off, it complimented her engagement ring which sparkled on her finger.

"You called?" Rafael said as they approached.

Alec and Magnus looked over the back of the couch at them.  
"No. Uncle Raphael." Magnus said and and Raf went "ahh." in understanding.  
They came over and observed the photo albums laid out.  
"Are there baby pictures?" Lilly asked excitedly.  
"No." Rafael said quickly.   
"Nope. None." Max added.  
"Try that one there." Magnus pointed to a thick file and Lilly dived on it.  
She laughed and held up a picture of Jace looking disgruntled holding a baby Max at arms length. He was wearing a white onesie covered in little yellow ducks.   
"Jace is afraid of ducks!" Alec said in clear amusement. "Who dressed the baby like that?"  
"You did!" Magnus laughed "you always dressed him in ducks when Jace would babysit.  
"No." Alec grinned "really?" He looked elated.  
"I promise. You can ask him." Magnus laughed.  
"I can't believe we left Jace with our Baby." Alec added.  
"Uncle Jace was so cool" Max piped in   
"Yeah he was always good fun." Rafael added fondly.  
"I have to hand it to Jace" Magnus added "he loved taking care of the boys. He was pretty amazing. It made Clary was a little nervous. She was not ready for kids back then."  
Lilly interrupted then with another one "look at little Raf! My baby holding a pair of. little sneakers!"  
Rafael sighed and took the photos away. "That's quite enough of that thank you."  
"Aww you were so cute." Lilly added.  
"Raf has a thing for flashing sneakers. He used to cry if I tried to make him wear regular shoes." Magnus told Alec and Alec grinned.  
"HAD, papa, Had." Rafael said loudly "I used to have a thing for flashing sneakers, I grew out of it."  
Everyone laughed loudly and Raf looked embarrassed. "Shouldn't we be going now?" He added loudly.

Alec set down his photo album and address the boys. "I want you home by eleven." He said sternly, his eyes boring into his children.  
"Oh." Max said looking to Rafael and back awkwardly. "Like 11pm?"  
Magnus tried not to smile and watched his son's confusion.  
"No eleven tomorrow morning." Alec said sarcastically "of course not, eleven pm. Tonight. Sharp! It's dangerous to be out there in the dark."  
Everyone was silent for a long moment before Magnus cracked and laughed so hard he thought he might burst.  
"Wha-? Is he joking? Dad, are you joking?" Max said bewildered   
Alec laughed openly now and his eyes were so bright and happy and Magnus' whole life had fallen back into perfection.   
"I told him to say that." Magnus managed to say, wiping his eyes. "Your faces!"  
"That's not funny." Rafael said even though he was smiling "we thought you were serious. I was actually considering coming home. I'm a grown man and I was honestly going to do what my Daddy said."  
Alec was beaming "seriously though, don't come back until about eleven tomorrow. Have fun, I know how hard it was running the institute at your age. Enjoy yourselves." 

The boys and Lily left soon after and Magnus reached for the bottle of Alec's favourite red cherry wine, the kind they drank at their wedding, on special occasions and filled their glasses up.  
"This is really good." Alec said taking a sip.   
"I know. It's your favourite." Magnus smiled   
"Huh." Alec smiled "good to know."  
He leaned back into Magnus and picked up the heavy white album.   
"Is this..."  
"...yeah, that's our wedding" Magnus smiled. "The happiest day of my life."   
"Your entire four hundred year old life?" Alec asked looking interested.  
"Yes." Magnus said solemnly. "Well maybe it tied with the day you came back." He gripped Alec's knee with his free hand and Alec leaned in and kissed him gently.   
"So gold huh?" Alec said when he turned back to the photo album.   
"It was one of my conditions." Magnus said remembering "I said I wouldn't marry you until it was legal for us in the eyes of the clave and we could wear gold."  
"I'm surprised we ever got married then." Alec said  
"That was all you, darling." Magnus said proudly. "You fought for us and the entire downworld."  
Alec was quite while he processed this. His fingers ran over the plastic covering on the photographs. Over their suits. Magnus' was black velvet embroidered heavily in rich gold thread. Alec himself in white with a golden lapels.   
"It was the wedding of the century." Magnus said proudly. "Even if I'm a little biased."   
Alec smiled. "it looked amazing." He said as he flipped the pages over.   
"It was. It really was." Magnus sighed. "I wish you could remember, Alexander."   
"Me too." Alec said sadly "maybe someday..." 

The mood had gone a little somber.   
Magnus set his wine down.  
"Alexander." He began "I know I keep saying this but it's true- this is so difficult for you and we're so new to you but it's so hard for us too. There's so much I want to say to you right now." He sighed  
"Then say it." Alec said looking a little apprehensive   
"It would be selfish of me. And I'd only end up hurting myself along the way because I know it's not the same for you..."  
Alec sat up straighter and turned to face Magnus. "Try me."  
"I love you." Magnus said without having to think. "I love you so much it hurts. I died when you died, Alexander. I was merely existing for our children. But now by some ridiculous wish I have you back here, right here. I want to hold you and never let go. I want you with me every minute of the day. I want you in my arms, in my bed. I hate it when you leave, I don't want you in the institute, I want you here. I'm terrified I'm going to lose you again. I don't think I can survive it. No, I know I wouldn't. I know I have no claim on you anymore, you're wedded rune is gone... but- I love you. I want you. Always." His eyes burned and he couldn't look away from Alec who looked like he was having trouble breathing.   
"Magnus." Alec said finally. He set his own wine glass down.  
"-Alexander. It's okay, I know it's not the same for you."  
"Magnus Bane." Alec said slowly. "I love you too."  
Magnus felt a tear escaping from his eye. He wiped it away quickly, barely daring to believe his ears.  
"From the moment I met you-again- back in my bedroom at the institute- I felt it. This... this... overwhelming need to be around you. And it scared me and it still scares me." Alec admitted "but these past few weeks i have loved you. It feels like the easiest thing in the world to love you, I don't even have to try. That's just how it is. Maybe I'm not quite at the stage you are, I'm missing those important life changing moments. The "I do" and the baby's first steps and Raf breaking a bullies nose but I guess in time we can make some new ones. New memories. My entire body is telling me that I don't think I can live without you."  
Magnus was having a hard time holding himself together. "Alexander." Was all he managed to say.   
"All I know is I'm Alec Lightwood and that I love you."   
"You called me Magnus Bane." Magnus smiled a little "it's Lightwood-Bane."   
Alec quirked his perfect lips. "Maybe... maybe someday I could be a Lightwood-Bane again..."  
Magnus blinked "Alexander, did you just propose to me again?"  
Alec blushed "No. Maybe."  
Magnus took Alec's hand. "Let's not worry about that now."  
He leaned in and kissed Alec who immediately responded. They kissed slowly, deeply, until Alec was getting to his feet and pulling Magnus up and towards the bedroom. Before they got there Magnus had one last thing to say.   
"I know I said we don't have to worry about these things yet but you should know. It's always a yes for you, Alexander. Just so you know. For someday."  
Alec smiled widely and cupped Magnus' face in his hands. He pressed their foreheads together for a moment before their lips met again and they stumbled towards their bedroom door.


	9. Chapter 9

It was a busy night in the Hunter's moon, Magnus was sitting at a table by the entrance with Alec, Rafael and Lilly.  
Max was at the bar with some friends.  
It was nights like these that Magnus cherished. Since Alec had been returned to them they could have these nights. The two of them, their grown up boys, enjoying each other's company over some food and drinks. Everyone having their own stories from the institute, the council, their personal lives. It was happy and Magnus drank up all the happiness he could.  
The past weeks had began to take a toll on him. He was having problems sleeping. He would lay awake with Alec in his arms. He would listen to the steady thump of his heart. He would hold his hand on Alec's chest to feel it rise and fall with each breath.  
Magnus hated that Alec was back in the field. He was patrolling with his parabatai some nights and training during the days. Magnus knew it was what Alec needed, to be back to his old self, but all Magnus felt was terror.  
He knew it was irrational. He knew he had no place to tell Alexander because it was his issue but it was getting hard to hide it. Nights when Alec stayed at the institute or when he was working Magnus would worry himself sick. Once he'd even put a protection spell on Alec's gear when he wasn't looking. Magnus had only gotten him back. He wasn't going to lose him again. 

So it was moments like these when they were happy and carefree, talking about Raf and Lilly's upcoming wedding that Magnus drank it all in. The happiness, the light banter and love his family gave off.

"We know we have to invite the Inquisitor to the wedding but we don't want to." Rafael said 

"Or do we have to?" Lilly said hopefully, looking at her Fiancé then to her future in-laws.

Alec made a face and Magnus took the question.  
"In the hope of keeping the happy bridge between the clave and the institute I'd say you'd have to."

Lilly sighed and Rafael tightened his grip on her. 

"I guess he is my boss." Rafael sighed. "Just a shame he's such an insufferable pain in the ass."

"Hey, did we invite Imogen to our wedding?" Alec asked curiously 

Magnus smiled. Alec always had so much interest in their wedding, even if he didn't remember it.

"No darling." Magnus said fondly "no Imogen, but she wasn't the inquisitor anymore. That was your father remember?"

Alec nodded "oh yeah. That's right. I guess we did invite the inquisitor then."

Magnus smiled and leaned in closer to Alec. Alec may have forgotten the details around Robert's death but he still missed him. 

"Just invite him to the ceremony but not the after parts." Alec suggested.

"That's a good idea." Lilly said looking happier "we don't have to-"

Just then the entire bar fell silent as two downworlders broke into a fight. One was a Warlock, Magnus would tell immediately but he wasn't sure who he was, he wasn't from around these parts. The other looked like a seelie knight. He was built like a soldier. Tables were overturned and glasses smashed. People fell over each other in a bid to move away. Max and his friends stepped in to help and Rafael jumped to his feet to get his brother's back.  
In the scuffle the new Warlock sent a blue ball of magic at Max. Rafael pushed his younger brother out of the way just in time.  
Now Magnus jumped to his feet along with Alec, no one would hurt their children.  
The young Warlock struck again. This time his magic blew the windows out and covered everyone in a shower of glass. 

Magnus' eyes flared gold and he caught the young Warlock in a tight band of constricting magic. Everyone seemed to move out of Magnus' way as he approached. The entire place was in silence now.  
"Max." Magnus said "send him to the clave."  
"You got it, Papa." Max replied.  
Magnus rounded on his other son who was supporting nasty gashes to his face from the glass.  
He gently removed the glass and then healed him.  
"Are you okay?" Magnus said gently, checking Rafael for more injuries  
"I'm fine, it's okay." Rafael smiled at his Father's worry. He knew Raf was capable of healing himself with a stele but Magnus hated seeing his boy in pain.  
There were many raised voices now as the shock kicked in.  
"Lets check everyone for injuries." Rafael said moving off.  
Magnus brushed shards of glass from his own hair before he kneeled down to help a wolf girl to her feet.  
"Magnus!"  
Magnus froze at the urgent cry. It was Lilly's voice.  
He let go of the girl he was helping and rounded on Rafael's girl.  
Her hands were covered in blood. She looked shaken.  
"Magnus!" She called urgently and Magnus moved through the crowd to her.  
"This is beyond my healing!" She cried and Magnus stopped dead when he saw Alec sitting against the bar his hand holding a shard of glass in one shaking hand. The other was clamped to his throat where crimson liquid was pumping through his fingers.  
Alec looked pale and tired as he desperately held his throat his eyes on Magnus fluttering.  
"Rafael!!" Lilly screamed "Max!"  
Rafael was there in a heartbeat, he fell to his knees and grabbed Alec's neck. He drew another Iratze on Alec's skin but this kind of wound was too much for a healing rune.  
"Papa! Heal him!" Magnus heard his son yell but Magnus felt like he was underwater. His heart beat thundered in his ears and drowned everything else out.  
Alexander was dying again. He was loosing him again.  
Something hard knocked him out of the way and he saw Alec's face drain of the little colour it had.  
There was Magic flowing around Alec's face now but it wasn't his. He stumbled backwards. Terror had him in a vice. Alec was going to die. He couldn't lose him again.  
He simply wouldn't survive.


	10. Chapter 10

"Magnus?" 

"Magnus?"

Magnus felt a small hand on his arm, he looked down at the beautiful diamond, twinkling there, ignoring the blood stains that covered the hand.

He looked then at her face. It was Lilly. She looked tired, she was talking to him. He really should be listening but...

Smack.

Something hit him hard in the face. His cheek burned and he fell against the wooden bar.   
His senses seemed to come back to him. He straightened himself up and saw Rafael's face. He looked beyond angry. Lilly had her hands over her mouth. 

"She said let's go!" Rafael thundered.

Magnus followed them to the open portal.

He stepped out and into his home.   
He saw Max leaning over Alec on the couch, Lilly and Rafael rushing to do the same.

"Is he-?" Magnus managed to say in a shaking voice.

"I'm fine." Came Alec's voice from the couch. He stood up in the middle of the others, always taller than everyone and Magnus fell to his knees.

"Thank the Angel." Magnus mumbled into his ringed hands.  
A moment later he was enveloped by strong arms.  
He let out a shaking breath as that classic Alec scent filled his senses.  
"Hey, it's okay." Alec soothed "I'm here."   
Magnus sobbed into Alec's neck. He gripped the sticky shirt that clung to Alec's chest.

"Can you please tell me what the hell that was back there?" Rafael shouted.

Magnus pulled away from Alec. Alec who was comforting him! Alec who was drenched in his own blood, and turned his eyes towards his son.

"Raf..." Lilly said gently but Rafael ignored her.

"Papa? Well? I'm listening." Rafael shouted.

"Hey!" Alec shouted "enough!"

"No. No." Rafael shouted at Alec "you don't get to do this."

"Do what?" Alec said standing up and Magnus followed him to his feet. 

"You don't get to stand there and comfort him, Dad." Rafael said loudly. Beside him Max stirred, his arms around his chest.

"You froze, Papa." Max said quietly. "You didn't do anything and-"

"And we almost lost him again!" Rafael shouted.

"It was shock." Alec said "he-"

"I said you don't get a say in this!" Rafael shouted back at Alec. "You don't get to do this! You don't get to walk back in here and- you don't get- I only just got you back! I don't want to watch you bleed out in front of me again, not again!" Tears dripped from Rafael's chin. "Not again." He hiccuped and Magnus closed his own leaking eyes.

It has been months before Rafael would talk about Alec after his death at the institute. His son had watched his Dad bleed out, watched him take his last breath...

"Raf." Alec said and then he strode and pulled his son into his chest. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." 

It would be strange for anyone else to observe. Physically Alec now looked the same age as his eldest son. 

Alec rocked him a little and kissed his hair. "I'm so sorry you had to see me go."

Magnus had told Alec about his death in the beginning but no one had ever mentioned it again out loud. It seemed this was a mistake. No one was okay, not even now Alec was alive. 

"I'm so sorry, Alexander." Magnus said then. "I'm sorry everyone. I just lost it. The grief overwhelmed me again and I couldn't move. It's no excuse. I'll never forgive myself."

"Max was there to heal him." Lilly said gently "it all worked out in the end"

Magnus shook his head "no, I failed my family." He looked at Max then "blueberry, if you hadn't been there..."

"I've never seen you like that." Max admitted. "Papa, you shut down like it was you that was dying."

"I was" Magnus said "I know you can't understand, well maybe you do but I just stopped existing for a moment." Magnus looked back to Alec and their son who was still clinging to Alec. "Alexander, I can never expect you to forgive me... any of you... I, I just can't do it, I can't pretend like I will be able to survive your death again."

No one said anything for a moment. Everyone was trying to calm themselves down. 

"When you boys were little I had to carry on and keep raising you into the wonderful men that you would become. But next time...? You're both grown, you don't need me anymore. I barely existed these last years, I know it's going to be worse next time, I know what's coming!"

Rafael let go of Alec and went to Magnus, he hugged him and Magnus felt the world balance a little better. "We're always going to need you, papa." 

Magnus sighed. He knew what Rafael meant but it wasn't the same now. They were adults.

"I love both so much." Magnus said. "You both kept me sane." 

"I'm sorry I hit you." Raf said "can you forgive me?" 

Magnus kissed his son on the forehead and hugged him tighter.

Max looked at Alec who pulled the young Warlock into a hug.

"I was so scared I wouldn't be able to save you." Max said quietly 

"You did." Alec said "how can I ever repay you?"

"Maybe try and live forever?" Max joked. 

"If there was a way." Magnus said darkly. "I'd never lose you again. Or you." He said rubbing the back of Rafael's arm.

He'd thought about it a lot over the past years. Immortality. There was no spell, no magic strong enough. The only option would be vampirism and he wasn't sure how that worked with Nephilim blood.  
No, all he could do was wish for a miracle. Wish they the loves of his life would live forever. 

Magnus' head snapped up. He'd just had an idea.


	11. Chapter 11

"Please relax." Alec mumbled into the darkness.

Magnus jerked a little, he thought Alec was asleep.

"Sorry." He whispered back.

"Come here." Alec mumbled back as his hand fumbled for Magnus in the darkness.  
Magnus moved into Alec's strong arms, arms he dreamed about every night for the past decade. There was nowhere else on heaven or earth that Magnus craved to be but here. His eyes burned with tears.

"Shh." Alec soothed sensing Magnus' silent grief. "You're too worked up tonight." He kissed Magnus' hair.

Magnus nodded into Alec's chest. He didn't risk speaking for fear of crying.

"I'm so sorry, baby." Alec whispered in his ear after a few moments "for leaving you."  
Magnus let out a sob. "I know I'd never have wanted to leave you and the boys. I'm sorry that I got caught up in the fight then. I'm sorry it happened again tonight."

He felt selfish that Alec felt the need to apologise for his untimely departure from the earth but Magnus didn't know until this moment how much he needed to hear it.  
He never realised how much he blamed Alec before. It was Alec that made him feel. It was Alec that made him love again. It was Alec being the most incredible, loving, selfless man that made Magnus stronger, happier. It was Alec that made him feel wanted, needed, loved. Alec made him feel safe. Alec was his home. His devotion. And then Alec had died. How could he have done that to him?

Magnus sniffed thickly and repeatedly as he let it all out.  
Alec made hushing sounds and held him tighter. 

He felt like all his grief was rising around him like a tsunami and he was drowning. He tried to break out of Alec's grip. He couldn't breathe. 

Alec hit the bedside light. "I've got you." He said quietly as they both clambered onto their knees on the mattress. He let Magnus have room to breath but he kept one hand over Magnus' heart. Magnus clung to Alec's outstretched arm like he was afraid he might disappear at any moment.  
"Breathe." He said and Magnus watched his lips talk to him. "Breathe with me, okay. In and out. Deep in."

Magnus nodded and tried to copy Alec's commands.

"That's it. You're okay." Alec encouraged.

"I'm not." Magnus cried 

"You will be." Alec said as if he knew the future.

Magnus grabbed for him then. He didn't need space anymore. He needed Alexander.

Alec held him tightly. They were still on their knees. Alec rubbed his sweating back, trying desperately to wash the panic away.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Alec asked gently as he continued to rub calming circles onto his back.

Magnus shook his head and breathed in Alec's scent. 

"That's okay." Alec said quietly "tomorrow then."

Magnus nodded into Alec's neck.

"I guess 2am isn't the best time for these conversations. I'm so sorry I upset you." Alec apologised "should we try and lie back down?"

Magnus still couldn't find his voice. He didn't even attempt to move.

"Can I be a little selfish and ask you one thing then?" Alec said then and when Magnus didn't shake him head he continued "can you kiss me please?"

Magnus pulled back to look at Alec who looked like he needed this. Magnus nodded. He wondered why Alec would want the kiss him like this, his eyes were swollen and red.

"How do you manage to look this gorgeous even when your eyelashes are stuck together?" Alec said quietly as he wiped Magnus' eyes dry with both his thumbs. He picked a stray eyelash off Magnus cheek and blew it away, his eyes closed, making a wish.

Alec was clueless to the fact that his melt down was all to do with wishes. He needed to track down another Djinn, he needed one last wish to keep his loves alive forever. The only thing was that Magnus knew that Djinns were sneaky and smart and impossible to find. They found you not the other way so he'd pinned his last hope on an impossible mission.

Alec wiped his cheeks once more and brought him back from his thoughts. 

"Kiss me. Please." Alec begged and Magnus closed his eyes and gave Alec what he needed. What they both needed right then.

The kissed gently, then furiously. It wasn't even sexual it was just need. Alec gripped his hair with both hands and Magnus took Alec and lowered them back into the plush pillows and they kissed until they didn't need to anymore and then finally they fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

In the days since Magnus’ breakdown he’d thrown himself into researching anything and everything on the topic of djinns. He had Caterina and every Warlock he knew on the case. He spent hours pouring over ancient texts trying to find anything he could about their origins, their whereabouts.

In the meantime he had to have some very serious conversations with his family.  
He started with Alec of course. It wasn’t the kind of thing you just discussed over the breakfast table so he made sure one bright and sunny morning that it was just the two of them. They sat out on the balcony.

“So What is it you want to talk about?” Alec asked when Magnus had failed to start the conversation.

Magnus hesitated. He knew exactly what he was asking for he just didn’t know how to say it.

“Alexander.” He began and he took Alec’s hand in his own “this is about you.”

“Okay.” Alec said looking somewhere between anxious and suspicious 

“I suppose it’s about me too. Us.” Magnus added

“You’re making me nervous.” Alec said looking worried then. “Have you changes your mind about...us?”

Magnus blinked rapidly. “What? Why would you even-? No!” His heart hurt at the thought “Alexander no. This is the exact opposite. Please, never think that I would ever- could ever- stop loving you. Are you absurd?”

Alec looked defensive “I don’t know! You’re the one who’s been acting strangely these past days.”

Magnus sighed. He supposed he had been a little too wrapped up in his research.

“What I want to ask you might be the most selfish thing I could ever ask of anyone, especially you.” He said with trepidation “what I want,  
simply put is you. Forever.”

Alec’s face has softened now he wasn’t afraid of Magnus leaving him. “Immortality.” He stated. 

“Yes.” Magnus breathed and his heart hammered in his chest. “I know this will be a long process for you to consider, but I need you to understand why I’m asking. When we had our babies and when we got married we knew that our forever would be on different time scales and we both accepted it. I would have loved you until your final breath when you were almost one hundred years old, and then I would have loved you after that for as long as I existed but that wasn’t what happened. You were gone too soon; devastatingly soon and I didn’t get over it, I couldn’t because there is no getting over you Alexander. It never got easier, there wasn’t one day in over a decade when I felt the pain lessen or when I forgot about you for a while. It was too early, too soon, I hadn’t had fifty years to prepare myself.”  
He was crying now, silently, but fat tears escaped his eyes and Alec was trying to blink his own away as he nodded.  
“I only existed for the boys and then they grew into these two amazing men who didn’t need me as much anymore. The night you came back I watched you and Jace from afar, when I saw it was really you and you were alive- nothing in life could have been this good. I am the luckiest person on the earth but as these months have quickly flashed by the fear has began to take over. I can’t lose you again. I genuinely, honestly can’t. I can’t remove myself from the world now I am a parent because I know firsthand how damaging it is for ones parent to kill them self; so my only solution, if it can even be done, is to ask you for the most precious gift that you can give me.”

“Forevermore.” Alec said as he wiped his own eye. 

“Yes.” Magnus said with pleading eyes. 

“Yes.” Alec repeated and Magnus’ heart soared. 

“You mean-?”

“Yes. I want forever with you, if it can be done, I will give my eternity to you. Without any hesitation. I love you Magnus.”

Magnus shook his head slowly and in awe of the man in front of him. 

“Alexander, there is no rush for that answer. You need to take time to think it through properly.” Magnus replied even through selfishly he wanted the answer to remain the same.

Alec smiled widely, his eyes glimmering and Magnus fell even more in love with the Shadowhunter than he thought possible.

“I’m certain.” Alec replied “I want this so much. I’m alive Magnus, I have you; I love you, I love our boys. There is nothing else I could ask for.”

“You can always change your mind.” Magnus teased now he has managed to stop crying “from now until we can make it possible.”

“And you think it is?” Alec asked 

“I have a theory.” Magnus said “I want to use a Djinn. There is no blood magic involved, no sacrifices, nothing dangerous to you, all we need to do is find one.”

“That seems impossible.” Alec said “but this is you Magnus; you always find a way.”

“No pressure.” Magnus said anxiously.

“No pressure.” Alec smiled.

He pulled Magnus into a hug then and Magnus held him with the hope that he would never, ever have to let go, not properly. 

When they broke apart Magnus said his last wish.

“There’s one more thing.” Magnus said “one that I have absolutely no right to ask.”

“Rafael.” Alec guessed with a hesitant glance.

Magnus nodded. “How can I not offer?”

“We will.” Alec said “of course we will. But, Magnus, I don’t think he’ll want it.”

Magnus sighed. “I know he won’t. He’s the only one of our family who can go ahead and have his own babies. He’ll be happily married within the year and I want him to have every human experience. I want him to have a love like ours and raise children if they wish. He’s the least selfish person I know, he would never take immortality for himself.”

“The option is his, we’ll accept his decision.” Alec said “together we can face anything.”

Magnus smiled at him. Alec was right as long as the two of them had each other they could deal with anything that came their way. 

 

That evening they called a family meeting. Max and Rafael were both stunned that Alec was willing to become immortal.

“Dad. This is incredible.” Rafael said seriously.

Alec smiled back at their eldest son “Thanks Raf, your support means the world to us.”

Max was a little quieter.

“Max?” Magnus said “this is the time for you and your brother to be open and honest with us. Nothing said here tonight is the wrong thing to say. Okay?”

“What about you?” Max said as he looked to his elder brother.

Rafael didn’t look shocked. “Max, it’s okay. This is something I made peace with years ago when Dad passed away. It was then that it really hit home that it would only be me that wouldn’t be around forever.”

Magnus felt Alec’s hand slide into his own as they listened.

“You don’t want to be immoral.” Magnus stated.

“I don’t.” Rafael said looking apologetic.

Magnus heart sank even though he knew this was the case.

“I’m a Shadowhunter. Death is part of our destiny; and Dad I genuinely mean no disrespect because you’ve died, and you came back to us by some miracle wish, but for me personally...right now I’m happy with my own destiny.”

Magnus and Alec nodded.

“Don’t you feel left out?” Max said “I know that sounds childish but it’s true...”

“That’s not childish, Max.” Alec said kindly

Rafael cocked his head slightly as he thought. “No. I don’t feel left out, Max. Let’s face it we’re the most unconventional family in our universe.”

“What do you mean?” Magnus said feigning affront and the others laughed and the room felt less tense.

“So we have the Shadowhunter who against his entire upbringing left his own wedding to get with the notorious High Warlock of Brooklyn. They take on a blue Warlock baby who literally turns up on the doorstep and then another traumatised Shadowhunter boy. The Shadowhunter fights to change the laws to bring equality to all downworlders, then he dies before coming back to life a decade later... i mean are you guys kidding me? I’m part of the most badass, incredible family in the Shadow world. I’m loved, I’m happy. I’m in love with the girl of my dreams and she’s agreed to be my wife. There is nothing more I want right now. I could never feel left out even if I’m the only mortal in our amazing little family, Max. You three have already given me the best life any messed-up orphan could wish for. Knowing that I don’t have to worry about losing any of you again is a blessing.”

“But what about us?” Max said “we have to lose you.”

“Hopefully not for a long, long time yet.” Rafael said “remember we used to talk about it when we were little, the difference between us? Well I’ve always just accepted that Max. I’m mortal. You’re immortal.”

 

Magnus sighed. “How did we end up with the most incredible sons on the planet?” 

Alec shook his head “I don’t know. Dumb luck.”

“Guys, this was always going to be tricky. We always knew that and we love you both to the moon and back, but we accept your decision.” Magnus said “But Raf, If we do find a way to get Dad’s immortality we want you to know that until the end of your days that option will always be open to you. We can talk about this any time. Okay?” 

Rafael threw his arm around his not so little brother and pulled him closer. “Okay, Papa. I’ll bear that in mind.”

“So where do we go from here?” Max asked 

Magnus looked at Alec and then back to their children. 

“We carry on as usual. We’ll be carrying out our research into immortality and you both will carry on with your normal lives. Nothing has changed yet but we’ll keep you both involved 100% of the way. We love you both so much.”

“We love you too.” Rafael said   
“Yeah, love you guys.” Max echoed.

Alec pulled Magnus into his shoulder and Magnus felt the weight of the world lessen from his shoulders.


End file.
